Series: What I learned about the US while living in Scotland, Part IV
July 2, 2008 at 10:38 pm | In series | 3 CommentsTags: gender stereotypes, men, prejudice, scotland, series, UK, US, women
(Entry part of a series: Part I: America is big, no really, America is big, Part II: Americans are conservative, Part III: Americans are Informal)
Part IV: Americans ain’t so prejudiced after-all
So I was getting my haircut the other day–one last shorn on this side of the Atlantic because Ayr prices are lower than Atlanta–and it got to the end of the snipping process when the barber/stylist/scissor wielder asks, “What do you think? Any more off anywhere?”
Well, my hair was shorter, but not short yet. My Scots sensibilities kicked in and I figured while I was there, I might as well get my money’s worth, so I say, “Actually, why don’t you take a bit more off the front.”
“Sure she says” as she leans in to cut.
I say, “My wife doesn’t like it real short, but I may as well while I’m here.”
And, as her scissors begin their downward snip, she stops, cold. “What, your wife likes it long and you’re saying cut more off?”
“Well, um, I guess I just figured I’d get my money’s worth.”
“No sir. You’re done. I’ll not cut another hair. You should have you hair like your wife likes it.”
And that was that.
This might not be the most descriptive story, but it does paint a bit of the gender picture in Scotland. My experiences this year have led me to return to the US with a greater appreciation for our gender equality. Gender-related or stereotypical comments that would be social faux pas in the US are fairly common here. I don’t know the story of the statistics, how the UK and US compare in terms of equal pay for equal work, sexual discrimination suits, etc. etc., but my general impression of Scotland has led me to appreciate–quite surprisingly, actually–where the US is on gender stereotypes and prejudices.
People here are much more tied to gendered social expectations. It’s assumed more often here, that Megan is the sole cooker, cleaner, and organizer of our household. It’s assumed more often here, that “girls are weak” and “boys are strong” or that men act certain ways and women’s ways are all identical and somehow anit-male. Female groups tend to talk more in a certain way about men, and vice versa. Off the cuff sexual comments made by respectable people here would be considered way out of bounds at home.
These gender realizations have come as quite a welcome surprise, as I’m a big advocate of continuing to challenge our presumed gender stereotypes in the US. It turns out that while I continue these efforts in the US, I should also be more cognizant and grateful for how far we’ve already come.
image by Edwin P
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Honest men and bonnie lassies of Ayr. ye cannae beat them, eh?
Comment by Stushie — July 4, 2008 #
Adam I loved this story… I read it out to my husband, who always gets his hair cut shorter than I like it! Think I’ll send him to your hairdresser in future
(But was also interested in what you say about the differences in gender-related stereo-types between here and the States… )
Comment by Danny — July 6, 2008 #
Hi, Adam:
Since you checked my blogged, I’ve been reading yours.
I’ve enjoyed your observations on Life in Scotland compared with life in US.
I’ve lived in the Bay Area, California for 30 years and now that my husband is nearing retirement age, we’re considering all possibilities.
We came when he had a fellowship to do research at UC Berkeley.
It wasn’t a permanent position, but we fell in love with the area and chose to stay. Thereafter, he’s had various positions in the technology industry and is now a consultant.
I’m not a Scot who thinks that the place I left will be exactly as it was all those years ago. I’m not the same person I was then and if we do go back, we’ll be taking our older selves with us.
There’s nobody in Scotland longing for our return. Those sentiments belong in the old Scottish songs.
I can access Scotland and my family and friends every day on the Internet. I don’t have to be there to be there.
Thank you for posting your thoughts. You’ve added to the decision making process.
Aye yours,
Margaret
Comment by OorMargit — July 18, 2008 #